RATINGS

“Behold! Cast members of The Planet Earth! We are sorry to announce that after 4,541,783,081 seasons, the network as decided to not renew you for next year. It was a very good run. But rating have been slipping. I think we'll all agree that the last 7 million seasons have been lacking. Our fault, really. We kind of, how do you say, “jumped the shark” with the whole evolution of man thing. (Although, it is an interesting fact that our highest rating in the last 2000 seasons was when Fonzie jumped the shark.) We haven't won any rewards since the dinosaurs were killed off. Man, that was a good season, wasn't it? A great twist. Good times. Well, I know it is hard to say good bye. It's been great working with all of you.

“We were about to say I we are sure some of you would get work on another show... but we do kind of have a big wowzer of a final episode planned. Better to go out with a bang, right? Anyway, it involves the Sun going supernova and all of you dying in a horrible reign of fire. It will have great visuals and drama.

“Now now. No tears. Be proud. DVD sales will be great.”